Yesterday, Kenyan runner Dennis Kimetto ran the world's fastest marathon by finishing the Berlin Marathon in 2 hours, 2 minutes, and 57 seconds. He also set another record by being the first guy from Kenya to be named Dennis. Fallon
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has not appeared in public for weeks. There are rumors he's sick due to too much cheese, fried chicken, and beer. Sounds like someone is applying for American citizenship. Conan
One of the most expensive coffees in the world is made by feeding beans to a creature-like cat. It eats the beans and they travel through its system, and when they come out the beans have a rich, mellow flavor. The guy that figured that out must have really loved coffee. Kimmel
