H.I.F.
The humorous Taki Theodoracopulos offers a biographical snippet of Sam Goldwyn, including these malapropisms:
When his wife suggested a friend should seek psychiatric help he interrupted with, “Anybody who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined.” His most famous Goldwynism was “Include me out,” which he sprang on his board that included Averell Harriman, a lifelong friend. Charlie Chaplin and countless others including Douglas Fairbanks claimed that they were present at the creation, such was the beauty of that particular malapropism. When a director complained about the lighting, Goldwyn told him, “You gotta take the sour with the bitter.” He admonished his banker, who was complaining about overruns in the budget, that “We are dealing in facts, not realities.” When absent from his office he told his secretary that “I've been laid up with intentional flu,” and when some eager beaver producers tried to hustle him in financing a project, he resisted by telling them, no, “I would be sticking my head in a moose.” He was also the author of the all-time favorite, “A verbal agreement is not worth the paper it's written on.” Early on in his career he warned his director that “This whole damned picture will go right out at the sewer,” and much later, when the grand Bill Paley took him shooting in his Long Island estate and told Sam, “Look at the gulls,” Sam answered, “How do you know they're not boys?”
When he gathered all the musical talent in Hollywood, including Leopold Stokowski, George and Ira Gershwin and others, he told them “All this modern music you like is so old-fashioned . . .
